Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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