Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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