She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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