they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
