Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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