I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
