Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
