I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
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Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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