There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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