Please, let me fuck your mom
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
