Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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