I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
