what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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