I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
