he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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