I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
