this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
