Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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