well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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