I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Say something about gay babies.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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