someone get that fucking seahorse.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
