And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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