cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
