Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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