Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
