She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
