it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
