do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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