I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
