Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
