sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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