But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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