i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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