I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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