I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Randomize
