Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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