And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
