I'm drive I can fine osifer
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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