:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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