Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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