i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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