I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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