woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize