There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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