margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Screwed.edu
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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