i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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