I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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