when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
