but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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