i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
