you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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