you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
