I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
