Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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