when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Boobs speak an international language.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
