the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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